Vermont Toddler Officially Enters LEGO Period of Development
FOR SATIRICAL RELEASE
Vermont Toddler Announces LEGOS as Next Phase of Master Development Plan
New strategic direction aimed at establishing market dominance in motor skills, color identification and improving quality of construction
(December 1, 2011) Moretown, Vt. – Further establishing herself as a market leader in the toddler development industry, Kaylin Kaufman, 14 months, of Moretown, Vt. is making official her dedication to LEGO products as part of her Master Development Plan (MDP). This mutually beneficial relationship is slated to continue through at least 2014 with an option to renew based upon the parental purchase of new LEGOS.
“We’re all very pleased to be entering this key stage of the MDP,” said family dog Kappy. “As long as she keeps providing me with goldfish crackers when no one is looking we’ll remain business partners. I am looking forward to getting better sleep as Kaufman will be more focused on the next phase of her MDP, rather than my tail.”
The current provisions of LEGOS are of the large block variety preferred by smaller toddlers. Construction of identifiable items is not expected in the short term, but parental units are likely to create random shapes assisted by pinot noir after 7 p.m.
The LEGOS are expected to replace previously popular items including the Clifford Book, dump truck and Pooh Bear. As part of Kaufman’s dedication to the environment, the previously popular toys will not go to the landfill. They will occupy living room space and collect dust in the case that interest is renewed at a later date.
About Baby K
Kaylin Kaufman is a 14 month old girl living in Moretown, Vt. with her mother and father. This press release is a joke. Hope you enjoyed it. See contact info and testimonials for the real story.